NO means NO!

Rejection is gay

 

Would you believe dating is harder in the gay community than in the straight community?! Not sure about the contrary, but I can certainly speak on my own behalf. Im 20 years old and I consider myself to be a very proud individual who isnt completely unfortunate looking. Im not sure I fully value all my physical attributes, but im sure we all have some sort of issue with our self image, right? Although confidence has never been an issue of mine concerning the same sex, I never have officially had a boyfriend. Odd it seems, but true it is. Living life as a gay male is hard enough without having to screen each man your attracted to for signs of homosexuality or even aggression. And only God knows what signs to look for or who to be apprehensive about. Often times gay men wind up in a pickle for a number of reasons when it comes to dating or looking for a relationship. The main reason being the fear of rejection or being turned down by the other person for reason that cant be changed. A popular case would be gaining feelings for someone you have known for sometime.

There are several scenarios that the "dating game" will produce resulting in rejection (or sometimes violence.)




1. Best friend/Friend:

The case where you and your best friend are close and spend a lot of time together. Over the years you have begun to care for him deeply. A bit deeper than "just friends." He has no clue you have deeper feelings, (maybe even unaware of your sexual preference) but he assumes the opposite since you two are only friends and have been for sometime. Now the decision is do you disclose how you feel and potentially ruin a friendship ending in rejection and maybe even a physical altercation. Or do you keep your business to yourself and just move on with things? Decisions, decisions.


2. Stranger:

The most dangerous man to approach (especially if hes straight) hands down! Never do this. (If your friends will respond negatively imagine how someone who has no regard for your safety will react!)

3. Gay Stranger:

This is where its okay to converse and get to know the individual as a potential partner... only issue is human nature kicks in and now most men find themselves picking over an individuals minor flaws. Often times people in this vain, egocentric, and narcissistic community allow someones disposition and appearance determine how far the relationship progresses if at all.

4. DL Men:

Completely untrustworthy in most cases (not all). Because of their ablity to keep secrets and lie about who they are makes them capable of keeping a 24 hour disguise. Most of these men still have sex with females. So what ever floats your boat, just be sure to bring a paddle.

...and that to only name a few "types."

I believe that as human beings hearing the words "NO" and being rejected is a fear that wont die off anytime soon especially when our emotions are involved. As a society we tend to care a lot about what people think of us and even allow those perceptions to mold our own. In a world were perfection is more than rare we have to find a way to cope with the inevitable and occasional NO! Either way rejection is hard to face no matter what orientation you identify with, where you come from, or the color of your skin. But in reflecting on this topic and my past I have come to realize that maybe its apart of life and not ever ticket is a winner and there no need in rushing into anything that may frustrate your happiness. Whether that's a deceitful man, an irrational friend, or an irate stranger if you don't ask you will never know.

"Why tiptoe through life to only arrive safely at death."

Pre ICC Story

BACK STORY; High school drop out..

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I currently am attending ICC in East Peoria, IL. Where I have realized my potential and the impact on the world that I want to have someday. When I first came here I was so shocked at what college looked like, because of the fact that I never was someone who went to school or took it too serious. I knew education was important, but my personal fable allowed me to believe that as long as I graduate I'll be okay. WRONG! Especially if you want a life worth living. As I've grown and matured over the time between graduation and now I realize how important education and a degree truly is to me. During my high school years I had made it a point to be different and make sure I wasn't grouped in with all the other kids. I'm not sure what it is about me but I never have appreciated being overlooked. So by accident I ended up hanging out with some of the more popular kids in my high school. As much as I appreciated their friendship I allowed my popularity to distract me from what I should have been preparing for; my future. By the time graduation was rolling around my GPA was 0.7, I had straight D's & F's, and I had already missed over 200 days of school and was considered a chronic truant! Nothing I'm proud of, of course. (Especially since I didn't graduate the 8th grade because of the American History test; and if your from Illinois you know what that is.) So while everyone else was preparing for Junior prom I was in the deans office receiving my walking papers. Woodruff High school dropped me. Now I was in a predicament as to where I would go since it is a law that teenagers must attend an educational facility of some sort but NOT District 150 if that was the district that released you. I was so upset with myself I couldn't think straight. Luckily I have a mother who believes in me so much that she dedicated her time to make sure I was put somewhere to receive a diploma. First place I went was  the high school program ICC had set up a few years ago allowing students to come and make up classes so they were able to receive a diploma and go on to the college. In my first meeting I was nervous up until the lady who was interviewing me said that I would have to attend for 3 years! so I wouldn't have a diploma until I was 20! I had to fight the welling tears in my eyes for everything I was worth. I couldn't show how hurt I was because I did this to myself. After leaving there defeated my mom contacted Pual Monrad; The principal of the Adult Ed building to where I was sent in the past when I was kicked out of school for previous reasons. After  meeting with him he informed us about an alternative school where I could come to finish the credits I needed to graduate. I agreed to this plan and attended everyday! Since it was such a small setting it wasnt hard to join right in and do what I needed to do to get finished. Socially I fit right in and made friends fairly easily and unfortunately enemies even quicker. I stayed out of trouble long enough to earn the majority of my credits and finished the rest in credit recovery due to an incident with me and a few other students. Academically I flourished due to the environment with the 1:10 student teacher ratio. I was even lucky enough to have teachers who inspired me so much they influenced my college career as well. One teacher in particular, Ms. Raver, noticed my talent for art and design, (which was the only A+ I ever made in my traditional High School) and suggested I go to ICC for graphic design next year, the following year I found myself surrounded my college kids who have a past similar to mine but still managed to be here and work hard.

Almost done...

After reserching the career and program I found myself with options and the educational freedom I was seeking back during freshman year! Although I spent 5 years in high school as consequence for my actions I appreciate the alternative school and its impact it has had on my life and esteem. I feel strongly about the influence the environment had on me and believe that more cities should invest in this educational system. I'm certain I'm  not the only person who has had issues with public schools, the size of the classrooms, and social distractions. But because I was sent to this place where i thought I'd find my death, I in fact found my life and my calling. One thing I want to see as I build my wealth and celebrity through my career, Is the building of alternative high schools nation wide for kids who have learning issues and prefer smaller classes. A school where the socially awkward and artistically gifted children can come and earn an education as well as work on their future plans for college. I want it to be open to the public and operating for the students success. This project is the mark I want to leave behind once my life has been lived.

Give up cars!?

I recently read a passage in my English text about German director who no longer uses a vehicle to get from A to B. He claims that "Its a big relief." With rising gas prices and global warming slowly revealing itself its no wonder some people make these decisions. Although bike riding is a great alternative for local travel as well as super great exercise, how does a cyclist get from one city to another? Or one state to another? As dangerous, expensive, and bio hazardous cars may be we cant escape the fact that America was pretty much built for motor vehicles. I.e. streets, highways, and parking lots as well as weight stations and toll booths. I feel that a major solution to many peoples concerns of global warming and gas prices are alternative fuels that wont harm the economy and wont put a dent in you wallet. Depending on hydrogen fuel and cell technologies (plug in cars) may be what saves our planet years from now! In the United States if re elected Obama plans to spend roughly 8 Million dollars (surely either borrowed or payed for by consumers) on alternative fuels and cars supporting them in order to lower gaseous emissions in our environment and reduce threats to our national security by pulling the plug on foreign oil trade. This idea may be a day late as far as our ecosystems are concerned but believed to definitely prevent any further damage to our ozone layers which consequently is the cause of bizzare weather patterns and 19 major hurricanes in an 10 month period, sadly. Pee S, he should give them out for free; on to each family like he did those prepaid phones 2 years ago!

E-Cars 

\/  I'll take one  \/

 

GO VOTE! 

your deciding the future of you and your children's America.

Healthcare, and some mo' shhh...

 Kinda Rant Like;

My thought is Obamacare is not for now, but the future. Although I believe Obamacare to be ridiculously expensive, (adding to the deficit and creating plummeting numbers in the job market although it was inevitable.) I also recognize where it may be of some use. I personally believe that in only a short period of time there will be massive shortages of food and water in the United States, as well as common resources we take for granted today. I believe our children's children will live in a society that food and drinks are rationed amongst the people in a way that we don't even realize its being rationed. Our families will live in a United states we will no longer recognize as "free." With rights being stripped from us under our noses today like freedom of speech, enforcing random strip searches in institutional facilities, and even our cellphone uses and location tracking. Which if you think about it why does a cell phone need to be tracked 24/7, and who gets to use this information? What about google!? All someone has to do is type in an address and now is able to watch anyone they want in real time with a birds eye view from any internet capable device. Only things that will be free from rule will be sunlight. And heck who even knows about that, don't even mention whether engineers using machines to create thunderstorms and alter whether patterns! I believe this bill to pass Obamacare is a placeholder for the future ensuring that anyone in the future no matter how bad America gets overall will be able to receive some sort of medical attention no matter how miniscule. Even of our ex-Afghan soldier police open fire on children for J-Walking or loitering.Its my personal belief that we are not too far from a world of crime rates reaching 80% and death rates even higher. With more and more jobs lost everyday and less educational facilities open to our youth, we are facing a future too grim to foresee. I have a strong belief that Obama knows this and is doing what he can to add preventative measures so that the people of this country are as well off as possible.

GO VOTE!

Drunk Truckers

Testing for drug and alcohol use in drivers of commercial vehicles is very important and could potentially save thousands of lives. This statistic resource states, "In 2004, 1159 truck accidents took place in Oregon, which resulted in fatalities, injuries, or damage to other vehicles." (http://www.legalinfo.com)And goes on to claim that the number grow more and more every year. As I read Special Report: Drug testing needs improvement not clearinghouse many methods used to test drugs are passive and guarantee no safety due to false positives and positive test results not being handled properly. It concerns me most that these drivers aren't more carefully screened seeing as how more commercial vehicles are being used each day. Most of these men and women probably don't consider the fact that even though you may think you have control you don't, under most narcotics and depressants. Also ignoring the fact that a 23,000 will be fatal to anyone in say the Honda Civic in the passing lane. Because the machinery these people operate are so dangerous and ultimately unpredictable it is essential to beef up screening techniques for drivers because of the damage an 18-wheeler can do. In the passage it does offer a solution stating that drivers not using drugs are able to reduce their testing. Although this idea may be ideal to the men being tested I personally believe that this will do nothing to keep users from driving under the influence. Instead may be used as a way to cheat the system and in turn reward active users for holding off long enough that if they succeed they wont be tested as much. Not at all eliminating any highway risks or traffic fatalities. A solution I do think would be effective is hold the penalty for usage higher. So that drivers wont even consider the drugs or drunk driving because they don't want to be put in a position they are unable to come out of. Raising fear to reduce risk.

naturally happy

Recently we have been assigned to compose and analytical essay in English 110 at ICC. I found this assignment sort of difficult, only because I wasn't sure what kind of topic I found interesting enough to analyze in a way that would not only be regurgitating information but also adding to the conversation. After multiple ideas and a constant debate on which topic would be most interesting I decided to go forward and expand on a previous essay I had written. Introducing my analytical essay I posed the interpretive question, " Does the Christian Bible condemn natural homosexuality?" A question I believe may be undebatable when considering facts as far as timeline and authors. And even more relevant when considering the mistreatment Gays face in their own congregations among so-called Christians. While constructing this paper I did plenty of research online as well as socially. I decided to take advantage of my college peers and made it a point to ask around about peoples religious beliefs and practices.Many of my surveyed individuals were happy to discuss this topic and related to my bias point of view. As for the majority of others who opposed the view, their reasons stemmed from their churches teachings. Being my inquisitive self I engaged in a line of questioning like, "Well if your church doesn't tolerate homosexuality, why?" Someone would say, " My beliefs are all gays go to hell because God hates their sins." I reply, "Why is this your opinion when we, according to Christianity, we're all born with original sin and will die for that exact reason and are unable to be free in this life of sin." Although most conversations started the same most peoples reasons were different. One individual even claiming, "Our church doesn't allow gays to be members of the church, they're only allowed to listen because how can the blind lead the blind." Meaning that a gay person wouldn't be allowed to lead the choir, assume the position of deacon or pastor, or be considered a member and gain the churches support in any fashion because of his or her sexual preference. Even if that person is an exceptionally wise individual and believes the Lord Jesus Christ died for his or her sins. In my personal opinion I believe that all this confusion of whats right, wrong, and accepted stems from the propaganda the Modern churches spread.

 How openly gay men are treated in churches.

Also the fact that in our society gays aren't allowed to marry, further promoting the hate for the lifestlye considered "taboo" . (Which isn't taboo at all, nor restricted to only the human race.) When the Bible refers to homosexuality its in a negative context because in that era the practices were used to praise and worship false and idol Gods. What I believe has happened is that when that message is preached people assume that it has any correlation to natural homosexuals who aren't defying God or refusing his knowledge, but instead responding to their natural human sexuality, which I go into greater detail in my analytical essay. But in conclusion and without saying a mouth full, the distinction between natural homosexuality and satanic or idol worship needs to be made clear because it does make a difference. The difference between saved and committed homosexual Christians waiting for marriage or seeking only one sexual partner (which is what the bible says we all should be doing anyways) and promiscuous, practicing homosexuals fully engulfed in the lifestyle and have allowed pleasure to consume them morally and spiritually is a relevant fact that needs to be taken into consideration.

300 Million

 

I recently read a passage in my English text book Joining the Conversation that discusses the increase in the United states population. This passage details the increase of 20 million Americans in the last 20 years. Author Aida Aki claims that an annual birthrate of  about 1 percent accounts for 60 percent of this the other 40 percent is due to immigration. The major point I recognized in this piece is that assimilation of immigrants is an issue some people are concerned about. The concern Aki has is that with such large population migrating to the U.S. we will have a hard time living amongst one another being that English is not their first language. In many cases some communities don't speak English at all. "If we cant all communicate together with one language as Americans, its very difficult to see how we are going to have a cohesive society in the long term. That's a major problem that can result in the 'Balkanization' of the United States over the long term," says D'Agostino. D'Agostino believes that if immigrants keep coming in at this rate we as a country will experience divided cultural communities within the United States. My concern with the large immigration percentages is the job market and its growth. If its an issue to assimilate immigrants now, imagine a state where illegal foreign immigrants are not only undereducated but also impoverished. Poverty leads to increased crime rates due to unemployment. I believe that turning this situation into somewhat of a positive is a fairly simple solution. I'm aware that computers are the generation we live in, and as time goes on they will get more and more advanced which is amazing, but what I don't agree with is the jobs normally held by people are now being given to computers. Jobs that could at the very least give American families a decent living. My solution would be to exterminate these computer based, automated, self services and use real people with real lives and real financial situations. These jobs should be given to people so that more money is going into households thus more money being generated in the economy. I believe that if more jobs were given to immigrants along with federally financed English courses to teach them the language of the land will fix any issue Aki predicts, any issue preventable. Although I'm sure only God knows what the future national birthrate will bring, especially with sex being marketed at an all time high these days, but that's another topic.