NO means NO!

Rejection is gay

 

Would you believe dating is harder in the gay community than in the straight community?! Not sure about the contrary, but I can certainly speak on my own behalf. Im 20 years old and I consider myself to be a very proud individual who isnt completely unfortunate looking. Im not sure I fully value all my physical attributes, but im sure we all have some sort of issue with our self image, right? Although confidence has never been an issue of mine concerning the same sex, I never have officially had a boyfriend. Odd it seems, but true it is. Living life as a gay male is hard enough without having to screen each man your attracted to for signs of homosexuality or even aggression. And only God knows what signs to look for or who to be apprehensive about. Often times gay men wind up in a pickle for a number of reasons when it comes to dating or looking for a relationship. The main reason being the fear of rejection or being turned down by the other person for reason that cant be changed. A popular case would be gaining feelings for someone you have known for sometime.

There are several scenarios that the "dating game" will produce resulting in rejection (or sometimes violence.)




1. Best friend/Friend:

The case where you and your best friend are close and spend a lot of time together. Over the years you have begun to care for him deeply. A bit deeper than "just friends." He has no clue you have deeper feelings, (maybe even unaware of your sexual preference) but he assumes the opposite since you two are only friends and have been for sometime. Now the decision is do you disclose how you feel and potentially ruin a friendship ending in rejection and maybe even a physical altercation. Or do you keep your business to yourself and just move on with things? Decisions, decisions.


2. Stranger:

The most dangerous man to approach (especially if hes straight) hands down! Never do this. (If your friends will respond negatively imagine how someone who has no regard for your safety will react!)

3. Gay Stranger:

This is where its okay to converse and get to know the individual as a potential partner... only issue is human nature kicks in and now most men find themselves picking over an individuals minor flaws. Often times people in this vain, egocentric, and narcissistic community allow someones disposition and appearance determine how far the relationship progresses if at all.

4. DL Men:

Completely untrustworthy in most cases (not all). Because of their ablity to keep secrets and lie about who they are makes them capable of keeping a 24 hour disguise. Most of these men still have sex with females. So what ever floats your boat, just be sure to bring a paddle.

...and that to only name a few "types."

I believe that as human beings hearing the words "NO" and being rejected is a fear that wont die off anytime soon especially when our emotions are involved. As a society we tend to care a lot about what people think of us and even allow those perceptions to mold our own. In a world were perfection is more than rare we have to find a way to cope with the inevitable and occasional NO! Either way rejection is hard to face no matter what orientation you identify with, where you come from, or the color of your skin. But in reflecting on this topic and my past I have come to realize that maybe its apart of life and not ever ticket is a winner and there no need in rushing into anything that may frustrate your happiness. Whether that's a deceitful man, an irrational friend, or an irate stranger if you don't ask you will never know.

"Why tiptoe through life to only arrive safely at death."